June 2007

Today we went on a trip to Cardston & went to see some horse carriage museum. It was okay, then we went on a little carriage ride,  then later on visited on horse who was friendly. It was cool, I love animals. Tonight I went to see Spider-man 3 it was pretty good. Then rode over to the coulee & had a cigarette & stared down into the valley & up at the moon. It’s a little past 10:30pm & the train is honking it’s horn while I sit here & type this out. I have no real worries, excitement, or whatever happening. It’s rather boring, but hey that’s all right, it can’t be go, go, go all the time. I might as well savour this while it lasts cuz sooner or later I will have to get rolling again. Currently I have no plans, just file for bankruptcy, keep my job, maybe save some cash & go to the UK sometime in the winter or somewhere else. In a way it’s sorta’ like being semi-retired. Anyhow that’s it for now.


Today I went to the dentist for yet another round of fillings & to get one tooth rebuilt. It sucked, needles, drilling, filling, more drilling. Anyhow at the end I was presented with a mirror to see the work & was impressed to see my smile a little bit fuller than it normally is. Anyhow now I am more inclined to smile. The dentist restored my faith in dentists after what happened to me in cowtown. Another thing about living here is the cops leave me alone, the locals are now getting to know me as the guy who works at the gas station. One particulair customer of aboriginal descent though has taken a disliking to me IDind him all the time for cigarettes. It’s store policy plus I don’t want to get hit with a fine for selling to a minor.

Anyhow tonight I was on my way to Starbuck’s for coffee then heard some drumming so I made a little detour into the park to see some aborignal festivities going on. I sat & watched a few things then left. I am metis & never really got into exploring my culture or that of others because there is just too much happening in the word right now. We got wars, famine, natural disasters, terrorism & a myriad of other things such as funny animal videos.

Yes so there I sat reading the paper & this hippy kinda’ chick plops her butt down across from me. Jean jacket, black & brown dress, & wearing combat boots. She had a tatoo of a dove on her arm & other things. Wow, but of course I did nothing just merely observed, then we booth ended up leaving at the same time. She had a funky bike & I was aglow. H-m-m-m-m-m maybe someone to go bike riding with. Did I try to approach her, nope but maybe someday we’ll run into each other again & have a conversation. Now the sun is setting, gotta’ get up tommorow & go to work, yuck! I wouldn’t mind winning the lottery & I’m sure anyone else wouldn’t either. Until then I guess I’ll keep plodding along.

So there I was at work fishing in the cupboard for a garbage bag & then some cop who was asking another guy at work questions about an incident that happened a block away accidently backed into me while I was bent forward kinda’ low to the ground. My mind went straight back to capoeira & I was ready to take him down but I realized I wasn’t in any danger so I just elbowed him just lightly enough so he wouldn’t fall over backwards onto his ass instead of me going for his spine. Which of course would have gotten me into a whole lot of shit which I really don’t need. Then while going to get my bike to ride back home I heard them chattering on about me & that I was a commando, or I belonged to a commando group. Um nope I am not a commando, unless of course you are talking about my digital persona, but those are just video games, & just by chance some of the charecters look like me. Now had I actually made it into the army, I might have been, but there’s no chance of that now. So that only leaves me as an armchair commando, lol, & there’s millions of others out there. Oh, the things I can do with my fingers, jk!

Anyhow today I had to miss a bbq cuz I had to work. It was for poets & artsy fartsy folks here in town. Damn. In other news there’s nothing really happening. I went over to the coulee the other night & watched yet another another mile long train trundle over the aquaduct. It was a partially cloudy night with clouds in various layers, open blue spots here & there, & a cool wind with the sun behind the clouds shooting out rays of light here & there. The crickets were chirping, there was a hawk circling overhead. I hate to say it but I am really beggining to like Lethbridge.

Life here in Lethbridge is so slow, quiet, & peaceful I feel adrift in an ocean of solitude. I got a job, a few friends, lots of free time, a chance to reflect on how I got here, & the chance to plot a new course. Some time next week I will finally start getting the wheels rolling on my bankruptcy. I have no idea how much I now owe, but I gotta’ take care of it now instead of later. As for my health it is not good, but on the other hand it is not bad either, gotta’ cut down on smoking & maybe start swimming again or running. Cycling just doesn’t do it for me, plus like I have said before mountain bikes suck. I prefer the good old fashioned road bike.

At work I sometimes get people coming in who seem to know me, but I have no idea who they are. Maybe some folks who read this are dropping in on me or other folks I know from various walks of life. That in turn really makes me wonder what exactly I should say. Self-editing is something I don’t want to get into, but…. I am doing. Maybe not, also. Who can say for sure. I’ve met so many folks, then there are those who know of me by my reputation good, bad, strange or whatever. Maybe the fact that I am getting older & less adventurous is finally catching up or maybe I just want to lead a life that has less pressure than my previous ones have. Add to that it’s nice to take a break & just do something different. Living life as an artist in cowtown sure took a lot, then I got into the on-line gaming, then into having my own website which was a thing of beauty & ugliness. Then I went on the road & things just went from bad to worse, but I embraced it & pushed it as far as it could go. Well no, not really I came back to Canada instead of remaining in the states. I sometimes wonder had I stayed just where I’d be & whether or not I’d be better off.

Yes, had I actually made it to New York, Las Vegas, or L.A. & sunk my teeth into the arts & entertainment world where would I be? I know there are some folks in those fields who knew of me. So here I now sit off of everyone’s radar wondering, but of course look at the last 2 times I tried to get across the border & I couldn’t because of a stupid ticket I had got in cowtown. That ticket somehow got erased by someone cuz when I went to the RCMP to query about it, it didn’t show up. That in turns makes me wonder who did it & did they do it so I could get back into the states? Perhaps someone reading this knows the answer. Anyhow it’s after 1am, I have a sore back from work, & am tired. Caio for now.

I got something bad, but not too nasty. Various screens of death, lock ups, & blackouts. I guess I should’ve seen it coming surfing without my normal fire wall, Zone Alarm Pro & using the Microsoft firewall. Not too mention I let my spyware program Spy Sweeper get out of date & didn’t run my normal weekly scans. Then add to it not using my anti-virus, Norton, & again not running weekly scans. The biggest mistake though was not setting my wi-fi up to my network & having it start up & connecting to unknown networks. Anyhow today will be the day I start smartening up cuz my laptop’s current state of health sucks.

In other news I am at a turning point. Having arrived at a point where I can now start charting a new course. Maybe I’ll go back to school, maybe I’ll go back to my hometown (yeah right), maybe I’ll just wander out into the mountains & become a hermit. Who knows.

Poor, Paris she’s gone back to jail, I never really realized how she drifted onto my radar. You see her pictures, hear news, & whatever else, then suddenly she’s in jail, that’s crazy. I guess it just goes to show anything can happen.

Well it seems like I’ve got a virus or something. Lately I’ve been getting the blue screen of death & just tonight I had the maroon screen of death.  The only thing I can think of which is leading to this is the new game I have recently installed, Evidence, The Last Ritual. Other than that nothing too thrilling is going on. I work part time, I’ve gotta’ get a hold of someone so I can file for bankruptcy, maybe get my driver’s liscence, plus get into better shape.

It’s a strange time, but then again when hasn’t it been. My life just keeps unfolding one thing after another. It’s mainly boredom now that I deal with, & trying to save some money. I could stop smoking. I smoke maybe 2 or 3 packs a week. That translates into 120 plus dollars a month. I have stopped smoking several times before.

I have no real direction, I’m just kinda’ free falling now, & am restless. I want to travel, but to where. It’s not so easy to just pick up & go like it used to be, & now it’s just that much harder with the financial hole I am in. I haven’t contacted my creditors in over a year now so who knows how much I now owe. I wish there were some fairy godmother or godfather to bail me out. The only thing I can do is keep on doing what I am or maybe win the lottery. Imagine that a guy like me with millions. I’d buy some little truck & just go drive across the country, take photos, go to historic sites, write poems, make music, etc.. Anyhow that’s it for now. Life in the slow lane.

I am stuck on puzzle 3 of Evidence The Last Ritual. My cyber partner or friend’s e-mail account is full so she can’t help. I have had the serial killer e-mail me. Yes, poking fun at my skills. Oh God it’s wierd. Then there are the websites set up to help which don’t yield too much info, & one is in French & I can’t remember French. I used to speak some of it when I was younger.

Tonight at work I had a customer come in & he seemed to know me, but I didn’t know him. It makes me wonder if he has visited this place or others I have scattered across the web. Maybe it was someone from Special Forces or some kinda’ intelligence agency, I have had encounters with various folks over the years, most of them were friendly, except of course for the guys at the border. I find it funny how there I was on vacation in the US then did hurricane relief work for the American Red Cross during Katrina & Rita & they won’t let me in because of some dumb ticket I got which someone seems to have taken care of. Which leads me with questions of who & why? Oh well I guess I gotta’ get a pardon or something, or maybe I will just have to go to the border again & try to get in. I would like to go see my dad & where he lives. Oh & Vegas to. I like lights for some odd reason & there are a ton of lights down there. Maybe in a former life I was a lightning bug, a moth or who knows what. I can’t wait until Christmas comes & people start throwing up lights. My most favourite set of lights are the ones around the provincial government buildings in Winnipeg, there’s just something about them & walking across the river into the trendy village area. Anyhow since there are no facinating lights here I have changed to bridges & the train bridge across the coulee here is nothing short of awesome. It’s wierd watching the trains go over them. I wonder if the engineers sometimes get skittish being way up there.

For relaxing a trip to the coulee does it for me, the river, the greenery & of course the bridge. Life back when Lethbridge was first starting must have been interesting, coal mining, whiskey trading, the wild, wild, west. Anyhow my brain has stopped functioning so I will stop here, caio for now.