March 2008


I’m strung out at home

I’m strung out on the road

I’m strung out in the heat

I’m strung out in the cold

You make me want to

Grab my guitar & run

Back to the magical place

Where we met under the sun

But I’m too tied down

To go running around

Yeah I’m too tied down

To go running around

I’m strung out at home

I’m strung out on the road

I’m strung out in the heat

I’m strung out in the cold

I smoke too many cigarettes

I smoke too many cigars

I could’ve bought a truck

I could’ve bought a car

This distance between you

Is the distance between me

It runs like a river

It runs into the sea

I’m strung out at home

I’m strung out on the road

I’m strung out in the heat

I’m strung out in the cold

My guitar’s burnin’ in my hand

I want to throw it in the fire

I want to watch the flames

Shoot higher & higher & higher

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Stayed awake to listen to some tunes

Now I feel like barking at the moon

But there’s no time for that

Not now

I gotta’ hammer something out

Even if it comes across all wrong

Just some more fodder for another song

I wanna’ see you again

My long lost friend

But between a possibility, a wish, & reality who can say for sure

I’ve finally bottomed out

I’ve finally left my hell

No on this road to recovery

I’ll toss more than a dime into a wishing well

Maybe my guitar

Maybe my poems

Maybe my dreams

Or maybe just watch the water’s surface

Dip a finger into it & swirl it around

Watch the reflections become unwound

There’s so many realities in other dimensions

Maybe we could dance across time

& get what wasn’t possible in the first go around

Still if that were the case

Then this poem wouldn’t be

Something else would be here

Perhaps a wooly mammoth

Oh how my heart flutters here & there

Thoughts trailing not too far behind

I guess getting lost in the beauty of what is, is better

There will be time for nostalgia when I’m dead

& speaking of that

Last night I murdered one of my children

I hit the delete bottom & p-h-h-u-m-p-h

One poem blasted into oblivion

Maybe someone read it before I did it

It’s life span was approximately half an hour

Big brother made me do it

Or to be even more articulate

Comrade Canuck

I some times wonder about this country’s fate

It could be something more & something less

I guess it all depends on your perspective

& speaking of them

It’s almost half past four

No make that 4:41 am

I’ve got to go to bed

Maybe I’ll see you in my dreams

& if not

Perhaps some time in the future

Hello old ghost

I will not chase you

Even though I want too

Instead I will pass the time here

In this quiet out of the way town

Where I have a roof over my head

A part time job

A few good friends

& a plan different from the previous

Maybe in the fall I will go to Jerusalem

Breath in different cultures

Walk on shores alien to me

& just maybe a million to one shot

Meet an old friend there

But that is highly unlikey

I invite you to join me if you want

Your brave heart would be welcome

Yet I doubt that will ever be

Your path curves away from mine

But I will not forget you

Rarely does one come across one so fascinating

Depths can not be fathomed

I still carry around the W. B. Yeats poem you wrote on a piece of paper in my wallet

On the back is your e-mail adress

Your mailing adress

& your phone number

I would try to contact you from any of them

But what would I say?

Our outdoor adventures were short lived

You said you didn’t know me

When I last called you on the phone

& now after finding you on Facebook

You are just another profile I have collected

I don’t mean to trvialize you or others

But it kinda’ sorta’ boils down to it

Even though there are different stories behind each profile

Some are whimsical

Some are deep rooted

Etc., etc.

Anyhow back to the start

Hello old ghost

I will not chase you

Even though I want too

(For Your Eyes Only, lol) 

Today I introduced Jean to poutine

She introduced me to her new hair

Gone are the curls

Long & straight kinda’ like mine

The only difference is where we part it

Today we were supposed to go bowling

It has been postponed until tommorow

Which for me is later on today

I walked her home

By now she is asleep

I wonder if she dreams of me?

& if so what kinds of dreams are they?

Are they hot & wet?

Are they filled with adventure?

Are they abstract & artsy?

Are they nightmares?

Maybe a little bit of all the above & a whole lot more or less

I know for sure she hasn’t fully crept into mine

(Atleast not that I can recall)

But sometimes before I fall asleep

I think of going down on her

Wonder if she has a big hairy red muff

& everything else under the sun & moon

Sex has not yet entered into our equation

We sometimes skirt about it but never pull it apart & examine it

It could be that perhaps it would kill everything

Or suck us into a whirlpool of lust

That would end with a nuclear explosion

Of 5th dimensional orgasims & …

Actually to tell the truth

All I ever think is we’ll be friends

Then again who can say for sure

I just might be lying to myself, to you, & to her

Lately I’ve been trying not to think of anything too much

I spend a little bit more time reading

Listening to music

Or surfing until I get bored

Recently I found an old summer time friend

Who is now on ********

My memories of her conflict with her profile pictures

& I sometimes wonder

Is it really her?

Maybe it’s someone pretending to be her

Yes my life is strange

Dotted with with a wide range of people

In the USA it’s the homeless people to folks in Homeland Security

In Canada it’s mainly poets, CSIS or the RCMP

There was a time when the shadowy world of black ops called out

But by then I had long since chosen to opt out

Now I am just an artist

I play video games

The only danger to me & them is the stiffening of my neck

A sore ass & other game related illnesses & injuries

The computer world is just as strange as the real one

Where this all fits with Jean & poutine I’m not sure

Perhaps in another dimension we are spies, bounty hunters, or who knows what

Will I see you again?

One last time

One last dance

One last chance

The hiway goes on & on

I stay awake until dawn

This is an old song

But oh so familliar

You were a breath of fresh air

When I didn’t have a care

& now it’s bankruptcy

Oh woe is me

Will I see you again?

One last time

One last dance

One last chance

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

& on & on it goes

Getting back into shape poetrywise

Is a lot like getting back into shape physically

Yes

I am working my little brain more & more

But not as furiously as I used too

I think I am 36 or 37 (I can’t remember)

During my 20’s I was a madman

Blood was spilt everwhere

My heart & entrails on the road

Flattened thin as a pancake or a gopher

You could serve them up at breakfast

With sausages, eggs, & hash browns

No need to fear disease

Your seperation from being a reader innoculated you

Well for the most part

How many incarnations were there

The was 100’s of love poems

100’s of confussed poems

100’s of poems laced with guitars skewering me

Etc, etc

Then there was performance art

Me with a bow

Me with chains

Me dressed in drag

Me with my drawings up for sale

To cover the cost of make-up & costumes

Then I got into theatre

I was in the chorus line

Given little parts here & there

Then it was behind the scenes

Infront of the camera

A background artist

A stiltwalker

A dancer

A choreographer

Blah, blah, blah

Oh I could go on & on for a bit more

Now here I sit

It’s a quarter to one

A tooth hurts

One of my front teeth has fragmented ever so finely

It’s like a minature sword

& when that fragment breaks

I will have a gap between them

& the wind & my voice can sail on through rather smoothly

Much like a loch or a causeway

Little parameciums will escape as well

& other things infectious

Get your biohazard gear on now

Before it’s too late

Something might impregnate your mind

Much like mine

Oh the countless variations of fungi

Waiting to blossom

No need for rain

Yes, here in the coulees along with the rattlesnakes are cacti

Make sure you look before you sit down

Then just when you think all is said & done

A thunderstorm blows in

Purple rain is blowing sideways

Lightning ripping up the heavens

While down in hell Lucifer laughs

Everyone appreciates comedy to some degree

My neck is now stiff from gawking at the monitor

Which is gawking back at me

All sorts of people & things live in computers

Friends, viruses, porn, Tammy Faye Baker

& everything else under the sun

Including those 2 chicks & one cup

Wow, that was something

I told a friend it should be the commercial for Dairy Queen